A sincere thank you

Hey kids!

Welcome to another year.  Today being a Monday, means it’s the last day I’m going to feel halfway decent for a week or so.  Tomorrow is my “long” chemo, and it usually leaves me feeling awful.  But, I would rather talk about something else today.

There is going to be a fundraiser in my honor, Monday January 14th.  This has been in the works for a number of weeks.  It’s an amazing thing to know that people would be willing to do that for me.  In fact, during the process of planning this, I have heard from many people, and I’ve come to realize that even with my cancer, I’m one of the luckiest people on the planet.

I’ve been given an “It’s a Wonderful Life” opportunity.  I have been able to see a glimpse of what my life has meant to others.  Before this, I had no idea.  I’ve always lived my life trying to be kind to others, and do what I could for charity.  But, it’s been the personal things that have touched me. 

To those of you that have done so much for me, I say thank you.  The love you have shown me is more touching to me than I could ever put into words. 

Thank you

The Big Bang Paradox

Hi again everyone!

Well, after a few days of feeling down, I’m back with another science Q for ya!.  It’s the big bang paradox.  Here I go.

According to “science”, they like to say that the universe started from a single pinpoint of energy.  A pinpoint that expanded at an incredible rate.  Remember this part.. a single point… a point from which the universe has continued to expand.  From what I can tell, that sound an awful lot like a center of the universe doesn’t it?  Yet, they also say that there is no center of the universe, nor an outside edge.  Which are we to believe?  That’s the paradox.

But, the paradox continues kids.  Here’s another part that strums my thinker big time.  If in fact, there is no center, and no edge, then how can there be a direction outward?  Outward from where?  You mean away from something?  Like um… the center? 

From here I leave the pondering to you.  I don’t pretend to know the answer to these questions.  I just continue to maintain that it’s possible “they” don’t know it either.

So, have a good day, and a happy new year all. 

Stewman

Greetings all

Hi again everyone!

Sorry I was gone for a while, but between a very tough week or so reacting to my latest chemo, to dealing with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I simply didn’t have time or physical ability to post to this blog.  I hope it did not cause any withdrawal.

As I approach the new year, I have to admit I approach it with both a sense of hope, and to be as honest as possible… fear.  When I was diagnosed with cancer back in September, the doctor that broke the news to me, left little doubt as to how serious it was.  Basically I was told I had terminal cancer.  Then he told me of the options of chemo and radiation.  Then, like the stick and the carrot… after the stick of impending death, came the carrot.  If you try these procedures.. you might make it…. maybe.

It’s at this point when one makes a choice, or more accurately…. realizes he has no choice.  I like so many others, gave up my pride, my dignity, and my body, to a bunch of strangers.  One hopes they are professional, and kind, and considerate.  Most of them are, thank goodness. 

I was never so glad to make it to another year. 

But, if I were totally honest, I ask myself if next New Year’s will allow me to be here.  If determination has anything to do with it.. I’ll be here.  If desire to live, or tenacity to cling to that with brings me joy helps.. I’ll be here.

I want to live to be  with my wife, I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up.  I want to live to make others laugh.

Laughter is the one thing I miss most as I go through all of this.  I don’t mean my laughter.  I mean the laughter I so enjoyed giving to others.  In retrospect, it was the activity that took up the largest part of my day, until the cancer stole it from me.  Make no mistake.  My quest to survive, is so one day, I will feel strong enough mentally, to make people laugh again.  I love it.  Of course, my favorite audience is my wife Sugarface. 

Happy New Year everyone!

Back from the gates of heck

I didn’t want to call it hell, because there are people out there probably going through much worse than me, and I don’t want to minimize their existence. 
Well, sorry for being absent the last few days, but the chemo really threw me for a loop.  Big props to my wife, nurse, best friend in the whole world, and the center of my universe, Sugarface.  She tirelessly takes care of me, without fuss, without complaint, and without grossing out in front of me.  That’s a REAL woman.  I love her beyond words.

 If she did half the job she does, it would still be more than I ever expected. 

No humor today.  I think she deserves better.  I’ll be back to my silly self tomorrow.  Today I honor the woman that keeps my trust my dignity utmost in her thoughts and efforts.

I love you Ginger

More than just a science geek!

Hi kids, and welcome to another day!  I had chemo today, (the long week..uggghh!!)  So, as I return home, I figure I better get on here and write something while I still feel like it.  If history follows suit, by tonight I’ll be a physical basket case.  But, right now, I’m sipping on a Sonic Drive In Orange Cream Slush.  This is probably the most decadent drink in the world… mmmmmm.

 I want to thank all of you who have already visited my blog, and also thank those who have linked to me.  I’m truly honored.  It seems I’ve suprised my closer friends with my science questions.  So, as not to pigeon hole myself.  I offer other imponderables that aren’t actually science.  (Don’t worry science geeks, I will never turn my back on it permanently.)

 Today I’ll just throw out a few thoughts of a more generic nature.

1.  Why do they portray fat people on television as unable to go more than 5 seconds without talking about food?  I’ve been fat most of my life, and I can recall hours and hours without talk of food.  Just a few instances include sex, job interviews, funeral services, the time I almost died during a canoe trip down the Buffalo river, and of course that time when I was 13 when I caught two close elderly relatives “doing it”.  I couldn’t think of food for at least a day and half.  And even when I could eat, tacos and hot-dogs were off my list for at least a month.  I won’t go into any further detail.

2.  I know Phrenology (the study of the shape of the head to determine your value or quality as a person) is a lost, and unaccepted science, but if it really were accurate…. would Peyton Manning be the smartest man in the world?  His forehead is of mythic size.  I mean, geez…. I’ve always been intimidated walking around in locker rooms, and then Manning comes along, and now I’m afraid he’s going to take it helmet off in front of my wife, while we are watching a game.  Thanks Peyton!!  Now I suffer from forehead envy!

 3.  Finally, I ask the most difficult question of my day.  In the movie “Troy”.  There is a scene in which a young man is asked to go wake up Achilles.  He is found lying in a tent with several buxom young ladies.  They are all nude.  Being the kind of guy I am, I freeze framed, and replayed that scene a least 3 or 4 times, but for the life of me, I can’t tell which round, supple and attractive bottom belongs to Brad Pitt, and which belongs to the hot ladies.  Is his behind that hot, or have I just reached some level where I don’t care who the ass belongs to, I just want to enjoy it naked?

 Well, that’s it for today kids….. If I feel like it, I’ll see you again tomorrow.

Bye!!

Another science imponderable.

Hi there kiddies!

I’m alive another day, and so are you!  So let’s celebrate!  Well, even though I am in a great mood today, doesn’t mean I don’t have questions that need answering.  Once again, I say that science has a habit of making us think that theory is fact.  So, here is another question that I hope makes you question life.

How can the Hubble Space Telescope continually show us brilliant, detailed,and spectacular photos of some galaxies as far away as 450 million light years away, but can’t seem to come up with a decent picture of Pluto?!

     

I mean.. come on!!  450 Million light years away.. versus, a rock in our own backyard?  Some one explain it to me!!

That’s like being easily capable of full court, blindfolded left handed, behind the back, hook shots, but would NEVER make a lay-up.  Ok, I know I just described Shaq… but that’s not important now.  It just appears to me that either the great Hubble shots are false, or they aren’t showing us the real pics of Pluto.

Fight the power!  Don’t trust anyone over 40… wait… I’m over 40… nevermind.  Love people!

Stew

Pictures of the Hydrogen Atom

OK, let me set things straight right off the bat.  I LOVE science.  If there is a good juicy science program on TV, I’m going to watch it.  But, if I have one criticism of science as a whole, it would be it’s tendency to take a solid theory, and treat it as a fact.  Now that I have a blog site, I will devote a small portion of it, to my quest to get my “science imponderables” out there to the world.

Today we start with the hydrogren atom.  Hydrogen is an invisible gas.  So, I ask today’s simple question. 

How can they show us what a hydrogen atom looks like, if it’s INVISIBLE?! 

Even if they magnify it 2 million times, it’s still magnifying INVISIBLE!!  I’m not saying there isn’t some simple explanation for this, and some brilliant person may think this is a silly question, but, my point is… we need to be asking these questions.  CHALLENGE THE POWER PEOPLE!!  FIGHT THE SYSTEM!!  TUNE IN.. TURN ON…DROP OUT!!  … oooops… I got off track.

I have other questions I will be asking in the future.  Some better, some worse than this one.  Tune in for more!

Bye!

Welcome to my blog!

Hi everyone, I’m “The Stewman”.  My friends Newscoma and Squirrel Queen are helping me with this, my first blog.

For some reason, they think I would make a clever, or at least interesting blogger.  I don’t know if it’s my wit, my humor, or that history of bizarre behavior, but for better or worse, here I am.

Play nice, enjoy, and be patient with me.  Some days I may not feel like posting anything.  I was recently diagnosed with cancer, and the chemo really takes it’s toll on me.  But, the days I feel well enough, I’ll do my best to keep this updated.

Take care…. and enjoy.

The Stewman