Greetings all

Hi again everyone!

Sorry I was gone for a while, but between a very tough week or so reacting to my latest chemo, to dealing with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I simply didn’t have time or physical ability to post to this blog.  I hope it did not cause any withdrawal.

As I approach the new year, I have to admit I approach it with both a sense of hope, and to be as honest as possible… fear.  When I was diagnosed with cancer back in September, the doctor that broke the news to me, left little doubt as to how serious it was.  Basically I was told I had terminal cancer.  Then he told me of the options of chemo and radiation.  Then, like the stick and the carrot… after the stick of impending death, came the carrot.  If you try these procedures.. you might make it…. maybe.

It’s at this point when one makes a choice, or more accurately…. realizes he has no choice.  I like so many others, gave up my pride, my dignity, and my body, to a bunch of strangers.  One hopes they are professional, and kind, and considerate.  Most of them are, thank goodness. 

I was never so glad to make it to another year. 

But, if I were totally honest, I ask myself if next New Year’s will allow me to be here.  If determination has anything to do with it.. I’ll be here.  If desire to live, or tenacity to cling to that with brings me joy helps.. I’ll be here.

I want to live to be  with my wife, I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up.  I want to live to make others laugh.

Laughter is the one thing I miss most as I go through all of this.  I don’t mean my laughter.  I mean the laughter I so enjoyed giving to others.  In retrospect, it was the activity that took up the largest part of my day, until the cancer stole it from me.  Make no mistake.  My quest to survive, is so one day, I will feel strong enough mentally, to make people laugh again.  I love it.  Of course, my favorite audience is my wife Sugarface. 

Happy New Year everyone!

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~ by stewman1 on December 29, 2007.

14 Responses to “Greetings all”

  1. Happy New Year!

    Keep on keepin’ on just like you are…you have a wonderful attitude and that is half the battle!

    Sending my best wishes…
    Ging

  2. You made me laugh yesterday. When you told me I was the female Stew, it gave me a happy. (You actually said that years ago and I’ve always thought that was mondo wonderful.)

    *****smoooooches*****
    That was for Sugarface too.

  3. […] Stewman writes about life with cancer: As I approach the new year, I have to admit I approach it with both a sense of hope, […]

  4. Sorry about your illness. I start blogging about the good, the bad, and the ugly of living with MS. Blogging is like therapy. I will link your blog and I look forward to reading it.

    What Dave Thinks, a link on my side bar blogs about living with cancer, when you have a chance look him up http://www.nowwhataz.blogspot.com/

    When we live with a chronic or terminal illness, no matter how hard we try not to bite our love ones head off, it happens. I found that blogging helps in many ways living with an illness.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR

  5. Stew, I got here through ‘coma, and wanted to say that you have definitely made me laugh with your blog. Looking forward to many more posts from you.

  6. You have all my best wishes for a happy New Year, Stew.

  7. I really admire how you’re facing the cancer with courage and honesty. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Any friend of Newscoma and Squirrel Queen must be a pretty awesome person, so I’m just delighted to have this opportunity to get to know you!

  8. You’re a true fighter, Stew. I love people like you, standing tall through major league adversity.

    You have a fine support network it seems. I envy you.

    Keep on fighting.

  9. Hi Stew,
    It’s good to meet you. I’m a friend of newscoma and steph and beth in your neck of the woods.
    Stage 4 cancer? May I mention Fred Thompson has stage 4 cancer and doctors have told him he’ll die of something else before the cancer. Remember mother of the year, Patsy Ramsy? She had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Lived over 10 years with it. Elizabeth Edwards? Yeah…stage four, also. She’s doing fine.

    I know one person with pancreatic cancer. 3 months to live, right? Wrong! 18 months later, she’s still living a good quality of life.

    I’m mentioning all of this because I want you to have hope. I don’t know what type of cancer you have, and yes, doctors have odds for the average a person lives with a certain cancer, But if you’re friends with coma and steph and beth, you’re anything but average!

    So make plans for 5 years from now. You must have hope and believe it. Words and thoughts are so powerful.

    Email me if you want to talk privately, or call me. Coma has my phone number.

    xoxoxo
    Sharon Cobb

  10. Keep on keepin’ on, man. I’m praying for you and your family. I wish I had some words that would make you laugh, or be helpful, or anything, but I don’t right now. The meth benadryl (ask ‘Coma about that, haha) has me stupid. But, yeah, I’m thinking of you and praying for you.

    BTW, chemo blows. Lemme know if you want to learn to crochet, it does pass the time, anyway, and you can make some crazy-cool stuff with crochet.

  11. You certainly made me laugh on Friday. You always did know how to tickle my funny bone. Ooops. Hope Sugarface isn’t reading this. Don’t want her to know there was always lots of funny bone tickling between 5 and 6 a.m. in days of yore.
    Hang in there.

  12. PS-More science questions! 🙂

  13. Hang in there stew

  14. So, I bought a copy of your Classic Club Country clips the other night and came home and watched it. I laughed out loud the whole time. i had forgotten how funny that was. And the best part was the really awful early 80’s country music videos. Awww. they were terrible. If it weren’t for George Strait and Garth Brooks, how would country music have survived the early 90’s. ha ha Anyway, and I loved the whole “controversial” episode when the camera man made it look like you were in a boat. Good times. Miss you!!!

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